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Goldor: You will not take my crystal. What you will take is a beating.

-FF3

Some Squeenix stuff was on sale this past week so I splurged a bit and grabbed a handful of titles on Steam, after doing a bit of research on which PC ports of theirs turned out decent (and also wanting to see how they ran on my laptop); even amidst this rather select crowd, however, there were some rather surprising divergences, from the minor (the mouse cursor doesn't always disappear when playing with a controller), to the not-so-minor (some stuff can run at 60 FPS or higher, others are locked to 30), to the "huh, seriously?" (a couple of them will play without Steam running, though most won't). Nothing to make me regret any of the purchases I made, but it dd feel kind of weird trying to keep track of which stuff did or didn't do what, despite all existing under the same umbrella.

I suppose it is kind of silly to group stuff too closely together coming from such a huge outfit as S-E, since not only do they have different teams working on different ports but each of them is assigned different amounts of time and resources to work with depending on the project, but if nothing else it is kind of frustrating to have to rely on other users to know exactly what you're getting in many cases...and that's before you even get into the stuff that turned out just plain badly.

those mobile ports released to steam - FF5 and 6, are unforgiveable.

I'm pretty sure there's some kind of community penalty for downloading either of those.

Oh god squeeinx....

Here's my rant from a decade ago on the topic if any of you liek my useless neckbearding for some reason. I feel even more strongly that remakes are bad these days - if you don't put in the work it's crap like SaGa 3 on the DS, if you put in the work, you could have made a new game! Just make a good port.

Back in the 90's, these two companies were killin' it, artistically speaking.. It's always been bizarre that sqeeinx has been squeezing out so much shovelware. Mobile tripe like All The Bravest, that King's Knight game that lasted 7 months... isn't all, they're dumped some fine turds on the DS and 3DS as well. Though not as poopy as those of course.

When Genshin Impact came out, it proved there is a market for AAA games that cost $0. I thought to myself it would be really cool if there was a gacha game that was basically an FF7 clone based entirely in a cyberpunk city like Midgar (I've said before that's the most interesting part of the game, and when you leave it nosedives), with Playstation 1ish graphics (but higher resolution, obviously). Lo and behold, Square Enix is making that game! Except, it retells the story of FF7. Again. For the ninth time.

So, nominally a game people should be crazy for, made by the company that created the demand for the game in the first place. That I have zero interest in it precisely because Square Enix is publishing it, speaks volumes of how much they've wrecked their reputation.

I'm playing through Final Fantasy X and it's kinda okay. What am I missing? XIII (which I really enjoyed, along with its sequels) gets absolutely savaged and this, says Wikipedia, is considered one of the best games ever. They're both painfully linear and most battles are simplistic to win. But this one stops constantly for chit chat about a barely present plot in dreadful voice acting, then when you finally have a choice of somewhere to go you're at the mercy of invisible trigger points - whoops, wrong room you can't go back now. Can't understand Al-Bhed? Hope you found all those random books that often blend in with the background. At 25 hours in it finally revealed an actual plot (guy who looks evil and sounds creepy is evil and creepy SHOCKER), but then dumped me into a pair of awful boss fights. One I either needed to kill rapidly, or hope Yuna gets a turn before him or the party gets wiped. The other, soon after, which was a complete ballache because I hadn't unlocked dispel yet - even though I'd be going to great pains to ensure everyone gets an action in on the painfuly easy random battles to get experience. But it's not actually worth grinding now because Yuna's out of my party.

Why on Earth is this considered a great game? It's not dreadful or anything but it's got a lot of little niggles that mount up.

Same reason Star Wars is considered a great movie: it had great graphics for the time. Released only about half a year after the Playstation 2 came out.

I remember one of my friends at the time loading it up, super excited. Cutscene plays, he's still pumped up. I'm like "ok : |".

Actually playing it a couple years later after borrowing a copy from a different buddy and finishing it, I was still "ok : |". It's hard to feel too negatively about it, it doesn't do anything interesting enough to warrant it. (That's maybe the harshest thing I've ever said about a video game imo...)

But to some kids out there this was their first big budget blockbuster game in the genre and it changed their lives. Hype has a tangible impact on how important something seems to our tribal monkey brains.



I think the cutscenes in FF7 are so decent because they had such limited room for them on the CD's, they had to make them count and couldn't make them go on and on and on and on.

The greatest cutscene in all of video game history: Your guys break some windows and jump out of a building. They saunter over to steal a truck. Some get in the cabin, the rest get in the back. They take off, que motorcycle minigame. Provides a segue linking events, builds a little hype, doesn't waste anyone's damn time. Perfection.

The endgame.

I didn't like FFX that much at first, but looking back at it, it's honestly enjoyable. There's no excusing the horribly linear path up until the final part of the game, but at least the combat system works really well, and so does the skill tree thing.
Hopefully you didn't pick the mode where the sphere grid is completely restricted?

It's probably my.... sixth favourite FF game? Which is juuust low enough that it's not saying much at all.
It was definitely a lot better received in Japan than it was in the west.

FFX has a decent plot iirc. i wouldn't say 'barely present' fits at all. Story's much better, and characters more likeable than 13, hell even Tidus' whiny ass.
And I liked 13..

I guess the beginning with Tidus getting fucked off to different locations is a bit jarring.

I mean barely present in that nothing happens for ages. Jecht, sin, Wakka hates Al-Bhed, something about the summoner's journey. Then it's woah, Seymour is evil? And shit finally kicks off. I honestly don't think the characters are any better than in XIII. I've completely forgotten why Lulu is even there, and don't really know why I should care about Tidus at all. I suppose you don't have a pair of prize bellends like Hope and Snow in your party at least.

Being my first playthrough, I picked the standard sphere grid which is a pretty lame linear trudge through small stat boosts and oooh should I use my solitary level 1 key to get +4 magic or save it for what might be better, maybe? Everything I read about the advanced one was that I'd probably fuck it up and be screwed at some point. Almost was at the yeti thing boss anyway, being without dispel (and a loooooong way from dispel too).

Eh i like the journey and the world tbh. and the way it examines religion and piety through this super colourful tropical lens

Lulu was there because they needed a sexy lady to round out the cast (I think the fluff was that she was the summoner girl's bodyguard?) and there was a cool guy with a sword in sunglasses who was too cool to use his left arm. That's literally all I remember about the game, and is all anyone should bother remembering.

You're forgetting the furry.

I... really am. I keep searching the database, but the only memories coming back is the dog-headed guy from Bleach. But with the head of the dog from the DOGE meme, making those funny eyes at me.

Little bits of Armor King from Tekkan, too. Wow, 10 is really indistinct... I didn't even remember the sphere grid until you guys mentioned it, and I played Path of Exile for around 2 years..

....

....

you sure you're not thinking about the red guy from #7????

For about 15 years I used to hate this genre and to this day there are still many things about it that I still cannot stand But lately, I've played through a shocking amount of JRPG's (for me) in the last few years.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would buy and thoroughly enjoy a Kingdom Hearts game. And yet here I am. 80 hours on Kingdom Hearts 3.

Square has been surprisingly eating up a lot of my money. They just make so many goddamn games. I bulldozed OctoPath Traveler in like a weekend. Bought a PS4 for FF7R. Destroyed that. Fiended on Dragon Quest 11. Fiended on that sloppy ass Trials of Mana remake. And beyond them I just played a lot.

This one's blue.

That's honestly impressive. Then again, I managed to play through that game as well.

I loved the first KH when it came out, but holy crap KH3 was an embarassment. I played it just recently because you can pick it up at any store for peanuts nowadays, and I knew I shouldn't expect much, so with that in my mind I was able to enjoy certain aspects of it - just blasting around the spaceship was enjoyable, and I'm really impressed how well they recreated the disney movies featured, even if it's just limited to a few of the newer and, to me, pretty obscure ones.
The combat gameplay was a massive trainwreck, and the story has to be one of the most cringeworthy thing I've ever seen.

I actually feel embarassed about playing it.

I really wanted to play one of the KH games because I'm a huge TRON nerd, but I couldn't stomach it.

I literally only like 3, but I skip every bit of narrative. Once you get the characters to shut up, it's a really really fun game. I enjoyed playing through it massively.

On the Switch Genesis collection, when you go to start up a game you have to hold down X for a prolonged period to delete a save file. But, when you go to save, there's no such check for overwriting an existing save). I was 2/3rds of the way through Shining Force. I started the game, went to load my save from the front end & overwrote the save state with the game's title screen. It does ask if you want to overwrite the save, but lets you button press through the check in the blink of an eye, so if your finger twitches absent-mindedly, bye-bye save.

The only backup saves I'm aware of is if you have Nintendo Online, but my sub ran out back in December (barely used it).

Fortunately I have finished the game before, long ago on the Dreamcast Smash Pack. But I wanted to play the first two back to back since they're somewhat connected, I didn't remember anything from the first one and have never tried the 2nd one. And, y'know, just sucks in general to lose all that progress.