Games ruined by bad voice acting

[it290]

I still don't get why 'miserable pile of secrets' has such meme status. Sure, the delivery can be faulted, but as far as the writing goes I think it's actually a great line and pretty deep for ol' Drac! And yeah, the game's overall VA is not great, but there's not all that much of it and it's better than a lot of stuff from its era. We were talking about Silent Hill 2 earlier, and although I certainly don't think that game is 'ruined' by its performances, I think the delivery is a lot more cringey than anything in SOTN.

[BIL]

Oh HECK no, HOTD 1 & 2 VA is legendary!

hell yeah, dogs of the ams forever

ZOMG sup Ed

I still don't get why 'miserable pile of secrets' has such meme status. Sure, the delivery can be faulted, but as far as the writing goes I think it's actually a great line and pretty deep for ol' Drac! And yeah, the game's overall VA is not great, but there's not all that much of it and it's better than a lot of stuff from its era. We were talking about Silent Hill 2 earlier, and although I certainly don't think that game is 'ruined' by its performances, I think the delivery is a lot more cringey than anything in SOTN.

Agreed about "secrets," it's a great bit of contempt from the MO HUMAN THAN HUMAN Drac.

"I want more life... fucker!"

I can't recall the original JP script offhand but I wonder if people interpret it as "secretions?" Which... isn't too bad either tbh! If oddly put. I always assumed the first meaning, though.

SH2's script relies on the tried and tested "I walked into a room where someone weird was, we talked and then they ran away" so I find the quality depends sharply on who James is opposite. Maria is generally excellent, her voice actress was clearly a cut above the rest and her cajoling really brings out "Sufferin' Ned Flanders" James, the best James. Her polar opposite Laura does similarly.

Just rovely >¦3 (no spoilers, but like any SH2 video clip BEWARE SPOILERS IN SIDEBAR yeah I know, it's 2019, etc etc consideration never goes out of style )

(QUICK STARTUP FAQ "What letter?!" sounds off in isolation. He delivers it that way because the last time Laura promised Jimmy a letter, she locked him in a closet! This is a running theme with Jimmy's foes in SH2. "Who's Rachel?!" is sheer exasperation, he has been through SOME SHIT at this point and just wants this brat to spill the goddamn beans already! JIMMY IS THINKING: "You're tired of walking? You seen the yawning Stygian hell-chasm where Nathan Avenue used to be? You know how the fuck I got ar - oh, hey, I really like this letter...")

Eddie is ridiculous on the surface, but even if it may not have been intentional, he and James are comedy dynamite (I suspect it was at least a little knowing). The whole game could just be the two of them locked in a room amiably talking about monsters and pizza until James stumbles onto one of Eddie's myriad hair-triggers, like not killing people, and Violent Fighting To Come Again!

"Oh yeah? Why not?!"

Angela is where I got some fuckin problems. With the character's appalling backstory it feels wrong to criticise her for sounding damaged but there's a consistent pattern of "Oh hi Angela" "BSADGBVADFGBVSADFGAER" with Grimdark James, the worst James, ensuing. Pyramid Head (yes, he has VA!) does similar, in scenes where he's not just punching James in the mouth or locking him in closets.

"Now it's time to end this." YOU WERE DOING SO WELL

70/30 effectiveness VA imo, which isn't bad given the rather heavy subject matter. SH2's best quality, beyond some thoughtful portrayals of mundane strife, is that it doesn't take itself overly seriously. At least I don't think it did. Either way that slight absurdity is critical to the former effect. To quote a great thinker of the 20th century, sometimes the worst shit happens. The worst kind of stuff happens!

"If that were true, then why do you look so sad...?" Fuck, I've already used cryin_rn.gif!

[Sumez]

I still don't get why 'miserable pile of secrets' has such meme status. Sure, the delivery can be faulted, but as far as the writing goes I think it's actually a great line and pretty deep for ol' Drac! And yeah, the game's overall VA is not great, but there's not all that much of it and it's better than a lot of stuff from its era.

IMO the voice acting in SOTN isn't terrible. The translation is good, and the actors are decent, but it was clearly given a low budget, and as BIL points out, the abysmal recording quality is kind of hilarious.
The thing is that the way the dialogue is written, in a super over-the-top video game manner, having voiced lines just makes it come across even more gross, with the actors totally owning the lines and hamming it up like there's no tomorrow. It's the video game variant of "Gordon's alive??!!"

I'm not laughing *at* the "miserable pile of secrets" line, I'm laughing *with* it.

[Sumez]

Another game where the (otherwise fairly talented) voice acting is a big part of what ruins the intended effect (I'm going to assume this was supposed to be a horror game), but IMO the end result is something much better:

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ACID BATH?

The PS2 era uncanny grand canyon probably plays a major role, too. Somehow SH2 was able to completely own that, and use it to its advantage. Not as lucky here.

[BIL]

Haha, I missed that game completely back in the day... only saw that scene recently and indeed, wow. A horrific concept done so ridiculously, bat-shittingly OTT, it actually loops back around to become disturbing again. Rad bossname, CORRODER. Metal as fuck! RAIZING as fuck!

Not directly related to VA, but Takayoshi Sato (lead 3D artist) was integral to SH2's bullet-dodging effect, I believe. A real craftsman. His SH1 CGs still look wonderful, too... I like how they're totally unvoiced. Not only does it sidestep the rickety VA, but they genuinely don't need the elaboration of speech. I'd seen a certain character's iconic bloody fate in magazine stills, played up as "AREA MOM CAN'T BELIEVE LITTLE TIMMY'S VIDEO GOREFEST" and expected it'd be a tumultuous chestburster-esque horror, but between Sato's CG and Yamaoka's music, it was (and is) just hauntingly piteous. [ancient SH1 spoiler for the curious] Even useless Harry VA Guy is stunned into respectability!

Spoiler

"Lisa..."

He also worked on the SS+PS1 conversions of Sexy Parodius, incidentally. Although SH3 and SH4's realtime character models still look stunning, outdoing SH2's relatively crude ones, I still notice his absence from those games.

[BulletMagnet]

IMO the voice acting in SOTN isn't terrible.

On the whole it's not too bad all things considered, and as I said the cornball parts have their own charm, but I would love to know which hapless guy from the accounting department they got to do the Imp familiar on his way to lunch.

[it290]

Can't forget this classic scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS26rhkgNIc

[Sumez]

Is Dogs Bower somehow related to Doug Bowser?

[BIL]

Recently enjoyed the PS4 version of SOTN, which lets you combine Japanese VA with English menus. Having been a while since hearing the JP voices, I was surprised at their takes on a few infamous dub nadirs. The Devil familiar sounds like a complete jerkoff in English. "HMM, a switch! WHY don't I PRESS IT AND SEE?" A discordant, atonal reading I assume is meant to reflect unhinged devilry.

JP Devil speaks with the discerning reserve of a leal servant, while his manful battle cries (RAITONING SPEAHH) could easily sub for Alucard's own, if the latter's VA had died in a freak gardening misadventure. I just about hear a deft "Switchu ga" at the Pit secret. I don't know WTF else he said, but I do know that tonally, the scenery remained resolutely un-humped. Much the same for his arrival speech, AFAIK, a deft apology for keeping Master Alucard waiting, followed by the formal "shall we begin."

I never give EN Devil a chance to squawk out whatever the fuck he has to say before moving on. :[ Come to think of it... he sounds like the friggin' Oarsman, who's equally as deranged and rickety in EN/JP alike.

(JP Fairy - not her more forward BFF the Sprite, pictured below! - is also charmingly deferential to Alucard-sama. you ever wonder about the skeleton sitting on the floor by the latter's card? Former master and/or victim? maybe a mortal keeping a magical consort comes at a tragic cost beyond either party's control. SOTN's a headcanon wonderland)



Elsewhere... Medusa's yowling, protracted "I'M PETRIFYIIIIING!" is all of a dismayed gasp in JP. I thought the sound had cut out at first. A garbage boss, who I used to extra-dislike for her mortifying sendoff, ended up gaining a shade of pathos. Yes, I'm aware the game has several Oz references. That's not a valid reason to cram in another. Who headed up this team anyway, Chris Chan? I know he for certain he manned the mixing desk.

What I'm getting at is, these lines and others like them weren't scenery-gnashing tonal abominations in JP. Which means the EN staff made them so. IDGAF about any of this, ultimately - a choice between the EN-voiced Chain Wing Smash editions and the earlier, Chainless JP revs is no choice at all - but it's left me disdaining the old "Well lmao its supposed 2 b campy!" saw. Nocturne in the Moonlight is about an achingly beautiful, impeccably dressed homo vampire chasing an angry muscle boi around a magic castle, enjoying strawberry parfaits and LARPing as Judy Garland while a ravishing blonde pines for his alabaster rod of eternal darkness fucc. It's camp - wonderfully so, down to its title. It doesn't need some bungling amateurs' layer of campy grease-paint to elicit a sense of ethereal whimsy.

When you beat Werewolf down to his puny mortal form his little cock and balls hang low in shame, for God's sake. Flash-fry the whole pack guarding the Inverse Coliseum's West entrance and it'll look like you're filming some kind of MRA protest. Yeah, I know, Rondo recycle. But that's far from the only cock to be seen here! Let's not even start on the game's impeccably well-observed feminine form. People should own their desires. There's no need to mutate someone else's hard work into your fig leaf. If you need your bishy magic castle videogames with an extra layer of *wink wink nudge nudge lmao we're so crazy* irony, just say so FFS.

Me though, I'm gonna say that VA is shiiiiiite, and in a work of this calibre, "so bad it's good" can bounce violently on my wood.

Why bother with a limp, patchy "so bad it's good" when you could have blazing, flexing, MARVEROUS So Bad It's God?

(all this regarding the 1997 dub. I've never bothered with the 2006 redo, because it lets you use OG JP VA, and that is that)

EDIT: You know, I almost wonder if the EN Devil's godawful cartoon voice was meant for the N.Demon, who of course was dropped from the Western releases.

Not really though, the rest of the cast have plenty of godawful lines. I should make an exception for Robert Belgrade's Alucard - always liked him. His cold baritone, combined with the metallic recording quality, contrasts ominously with his delicate appearance. Pairs great with the other fleeting glimpses of Alucard's monstrous side, like the rare demon statue transformation. He's killer as Tekken 4's story mode narrator too!

They see me chainin', they explodin'

Spoiler

[Sly Cherry Chunks]

Daifukkatsu and Saidaioujou both have unbearable voices.

[trap15]

You may not like them, but it'd be hard to say they have bad voice acting.

[BIL]

You know, having gotten cockslapped into the demon form tonight, I wonder if series grandpappy Akamatsu-san's HITO NO NOROI is being expressed there (Rondo/Nocturne team knew their Easter eggs!), rather than some "in CV universe, WAMPYRS always have second, monstrous forms! They just do mmkay" formality.

Puts an especially tragic light on Alucard's self-enforced celibacy. ;-; THIS SHIT IS IN THE BLOOD No wonder he's audibly irritated by Maria's inability to take a hint and leave him alone. >_>

On the point of extinguished bloodlines, I greatly enjoyed the rewritten - I have no idea if it's more or less accurate - 2006 script. Alucard surmises Shaft's hilarious plan to hold The King of Fighters 1797, and Shaft replies "YE PRECISELY LMAO! I WANTED THE BUFFEST DUDES TO SHOW UP AND GET KILLED BY RICKY BOY, BUT SOME TWINK I FORGOT ALL ABOUT WENT AND BEAT HIM UP FIRST :[ :[ :[" "oh lmao I was @ muh crib, Densetsu OG aint got time for yall DX bitches tbh" "YE U SNOOTY FUCK! SO NOW IMMA FUCK U UP 4 REVENGE >:[" God SOTN is adorable.

This is why he only popped back up after the 1960s, isn't it. Goddamn I'm good, put me in coach, imma write the best back of box texts and manual blurbs. Next pachinko cash-in should star Ally Boy running around the place like Patrick Bateman. The TLB: you think that's a generic CV wampyr, but it's actually HITO NO CHILD SUPPORT

[Blinge]

Roll on M2's Switch ports next year!

Don't cum!!

[FinalBaton]

^^^^^^^^
lmao!

[BIL]

Sadly they indeed didn't cum, I was talking out me arse on that one

[Sir Ilpalazzo]

Agreed on your SotN comments BIL. The awkward original English VA grates on me because of the incredible strength of the rest of the games' aesthetics; the lame voice acting contrasts unpleasantly with the rest of the game's presentation, especially compared to the strong Japanese performances (though I also agree that Alucard's actor, though not especially good, is clearly putting in an effort and I kind of like his work). The succubus scene is worst of all - you stumble on a fairly well-hidden scene that dramatically relates Alucard's backstory and motivations to the player, giving the character a good bit of pathos, but it's spoiled a bit by how comically awful the succubus boss's acting is. I know a lot of people say they like the voice acting due to its campiness but I don't really think the amateur performances add any quality to the game.

[BIL]

Ah jeez, EN Succubus. That's one of those scenes, much like Silent Hill's Bad endings, where you're entirely better off just muting the game.

I wish she'd been given a really imposing, appropriately salacious transformation of some sort - it's a dream, after all. Regardless, the JP one at least actually sounds like a seductress.

I notice Dracula's parting Bible quote wasn't in the 2006 script (which is the only English one available on PS4, and I guess PSP). I didn't bother killing Richter for the Bad End, but I always dug the less ham-fistedly scriptural phrasing (and even the actor's delivery) of his dying "What place for the shepherd, when the wolves have all gone?" Given how fast and loose the localisers were with item names, I wonder how much of that stuff was simply whole cloth.

[Blinge]

Whattt? I like the English VA succubus!

Darkling i smell your blood.. YORR a vampyre!?

cmon guys that's great.

[Dochartaigh]

I can't believe nobody has mentioned this, being a pretty new AAA game: Assassin's Creed Odyssey. I can't get past the worst (modern) voice acting I've ever heard. I cringed whenever either of them talks (either the male or female main character).

It felt like I'm in a bad Saturday Night Live sketch stereotyping and making fun of people from Greece. Hell, I even just watched youtube videos of people from Greece speaking English in a normal accent compare – and that was totally bearable and fine – it's just this game which is horrid.

[TransatlanticFoe]

If you're talking Assassin's Creed there are two worse offences:

First game - Altair is a generic American-sounding dude while everyone else has region-relevant accents
Unity - set around the French revolution and all the NPCs are "cor blimey guvnor" style dreadful English accents, which is just outright hilarious. I'm surprised they didn't go 'Allo 'Allo and hoove thim ull spooking Fronch onsteed.

[o.pwuaioc]

For me it's probably easier to list games that did voice acting decent. Early on we're stuck with just what, Fable and Half Life? The SOTN lines are terribad. Everything about it, the English, the delivery, the sound quality. In some ways I wish I had it in Japanese so that I couldn't tell how awful the writing is.

At least with written dialogue, you can ignore it, but with vocalized words, it's unavoidable.

[BIL]

Christ Dark Souls 2's VA is good Rat King a G. Insane Shakespearean gravity from the dirty little fucker.

"Speak your mind, servant. I value your counsel as I would that of any fellow rat." Served bone-dry and crisp, not one iota of irony - nice.

(when leaving) "Faithful servant... destroy mine enemies." Love this one in particular, the righteous anger just cooks off of it. Quite the estimable VA it seems, though I'm not too familiar with his work in TV/film.

Lovable STRAID too, always PWNing those wretched MEEK-MINDED with a winning cackle. FEEBLE CURSED ONE!

"They even turned the great Straid into a stone! Heh heh heh!"

Bloodborne and DS1 both turned in some excellent work, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Vast wealths of character and some decent writing in all three.

Can't recall a "games w/good VA thread and this one gradually covered both ends of the scale and it's a good'un besides, so whatever.

[Air Master Burst]

Tried replaying Portal 2 recently and couldn't take more than about 20 minutes of Wheatley.

Also the replacement announcer voice in any Metal Slug game after 5 would absolutely ruin it for me if those games didn't already suck.

[BIL]

MS6's emcee almost sounds like a deliberate return to MS1's weedy, seemingly non-EN speaking voiceover (nothing wrong with ESL readers, they regularly produce utter legends like Thunder Dragon 2). Dunno why they'd try backtracking after MSX-onward's pitch-perfect triple cheeseburger action emcee (mmmMISSION... COMPLETE!) but it's the only explanation I can think of, other than they just shat the bed.

Always dug how the X-5 voiceovers mostly sound like the same dude outside of RAWKET LAWNCHURR, which sounds like someone doing an equally apropos AHNULD parody.

[XoPachi]

Generally, for me, its most anime games. Especially JRPG's (NA or JP voices). Every modern STG I get where I see an anime character on the cover, I instantly go into options and shut off everything vocal. I just can't take it.

Ginga Force and SDOJ are stand outs. I hate the voices in those. The Mushihimesamas dont bug me for some reason.

I cant say a games been ruined to the point of being unplayable because I just shut off VA or skip cutscenes in games where I'm certain it'll be grating.

[Mischief Maker]

For me it's probably easier to list games that did voice acting decent.

Sacrifice (Eldred is the ULTIMATE antihero performance)
Freespace 2 (Lots of A-list talent from Robert Loggia to Stephen Baldwin to Kurtwood Smith)
Hades (I mean, yeah. Chthonian mumblecore)
Echo (the one by Ultra Ultra)
Dawn of War 1 (The unit barks MADE that game, and probably are the reason 40K is so goddamn ubiquitous nowadays)

[xxx1993]

That same issue ruined Gunhound EX for me, too.

This. Gunhound EX had a poorly written plot and characters to begin with. Even worse than Cybernator.

[Sturmvogel Prime]

For me, the grand champion of bad voice acting is no other than MEGAMAN X4.
Is just laughable, especially Zero.

[BIL]

That same issue ruined Gunhound EX for me, too.

This. Gunhound EX had a poorly written plot and characters to begin with. Even worse than Cybernator.

What's wrong with Assault Suits Valken? Unless you literally mean the butchered-for-SNES Cybernator, which loses a lot of personality with the stupid removal of character portraits and certain scenes. Valken is perfectly respectable scrolling action mini-theatre. Nicely straightforward plot with lots of escalatingly deadly seek/destroy assaults - because that is your job, you are part of a crack Assault Suits brigade in the final days of a catastrophic global resource war, with the losing side resorting to increasingly alarming last-ditch tactics like the good ol' Colony Drop - and it provokes some basic but pertinent questions on the place of compassion in war, if any, and the line between patriotic valour and senseless carnage, via its penultimate boss being

Spoiler

the young pilot your team saved from an agonising death earlier on, compelled to fight long past his side's collapse. Scrubbed from the SNES version IIRC, because, you know, war never kills kids!

They also scrubbed the post-credits Leynos stinger, which casts just the right pallor on the otherwise cheery ending- assuming you got the Good End, rather than failing to live up to your elite credentials, in which case you got ass-hammered by the Bad End!

TLDR: x93 why you lyin bro (;｀w´;)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/08BgTHgXGU0

[xxx1993]

I meant Gunhound EX was more poorly written than the localized version of Assault Suits Valken.