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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:13 pm 


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:55 pm 


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Skykid wrote:
I Wish 'Resident Evil 2' Let Me Be a More Compassionate Hero

Quote:
"That notion is wild, the police station as fortress/safe haven is laughably naive (particularly for people of color). It certainly was in the 90s as well, and really, when has policing in America ever actually been about keeping neighborhoods safe as opposed to keeping a racist status quo up and running?"


I'm sure there's a way for this victim of society to end the oppressive misery of their life.


to also pull a quote from it -

" It’s clear that I’m the only real agent in this world, it’s been designed around me. My needs. "

- i mean, yes. it's a video game. even if this were a game about helping people as she wants, they're still digital entities, it's still a game designed around the player and their needs and accommodating particular fantasies. this is so fucking myopically stupid. why does she talk about her 'obviously queer haircut'? i just. eugh. some of the anecdotes would not be totally useless as miniscule asides in a more substantial post that is actually about the fucking video game, but that's not at all what this is.

i probably have deeply similar political leanings to this author but find myself utterly contemptful this type of writing. it is beyond useless, and the general pressure to write like this when you're on that side of the fence is unbelievable. i am a "marginalized queer" and have actually applied some of my writing to outlets much more fringe and progressive than waypoint, and all they care about in editing your writing is everything but talking about the substance of the game (i came closer to writing for jeremy parish than 'my own people' and was much more respectfully treated during the process - nearly got it, but oh well!). resident evil 2 is not a twine, it is not a "walking sim," it is not the next night in the woods - what on earth are they expecting, here? what possible use could this writing serve other than selfish, whiny catharsis for the writer? what the fuck does a reader have to gain from this, even if they agree with it?

there is not an ounce of substance in this article about the game and it makes the author look completely miserable or at least deeply boring. this is not video game writing or criticism, it is a journal entry, a page in a diary, a quiet thought to oneself or their roommate. why is this the time or place to talk about a police state? why is a white chick throwing around the words "white chick" and talking about racism without so much as disclosing she is a white chick? resident evil 2 does not give a fuck about your capacity to relate to it - this is not a game about relating to people or meaningful social commentary, it's about surviving a b-movie horror experience with rigid game mechanics.

a couple of years ago, i would wince at people saying "SJW" or dropping ableist pejoratives like "retard," yet here i am now, pairing the two words together in my head for what to call this person in utter frustration at this being a perfect example of what games writing is, now. i used to really genuinely and passionately believe in lightly working progressive politics into portions of one's criticisms for certain works. i believed it was good to have a bit of your identity and perspective worked in through asides when talking about popular games with narrative expression, and to make a bit of a push for better representation in playable characters or at least agents in the game's story. i've occasionally brought small pieces of this up in my own writing that i've linked on here, and i got received positively.

now, though? it's all just this. a complete and utter failure to talk about the video game in any meaningful way in total favor of preaching to the choir about personal experience and social position. working in anecdotes about systemic racism or misogyny into a bigger and more meaningful article on a game is now frequently seen as stupidity or poison because of how frequently it consumes the entire piece of criticism - and i can't even blame people for seeing it as stupid or poisonous when every article is this fucking drivel. i'm sure a few of you reading this post already felt your hair begin to grow grey as you read my usage of the phrase "ableist pejorative". there is no foot in the door to the other side to maybe work in a word or two about how they feel games culture is a bit toxic (a word that has lost all meaning) or marginalizing, you just have this back-patting, journal-entry-level, virtue-signaling shit shoved down your throat or completely reject it.

i really just can't blame people for rejecting it, anymore. there is no bridge, and why the fuck would anyone want to cross it when this is what's on the other side?
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 3:40 pm 


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kitten wrote:
to also pull a quote from it -

" It’s clear that I’m the only real agent in this world, it’s been designed around me. My needs. "

- i mean, yes. it's a video game. even if this were a game about helping people as she wants, they're still digital entities, it's still a game designed around the player and their needs and accommodating particular fantasies. this is so fucking myopically stupid. why does she talk about her 'obviously queer haircut'? i just. eugh. some of the anecdotes would not be totally useless as miniscule asides in a more substantial post that is actually about the fucking video game, but that's not at all what this is.

i probably have deeply similar political leanings to this author but find myself utterly contemptful this type of writing. it is beyond useless, and the general pressure to write like this when you're on that side of the fence is unbelievable. i am a "marginalized queer" and have actually applied some of my writing to outlets much more fringe and progressive than waypoint, and all they care about in editing your writing is everything but talking about the substance of the game (i came closer to writing for jeremy parish than 'my own people' and was much more respectfully treated during the process - nearly got it, but oh well!). resident evil 2 is not a twine, it is not a "walking sim," it is not the next night in the woods - what on earth are they expecting, here? what possible use could this writing serve other than selfish, whiny catharsis for the writer? what the fuck does a reader have to gain from this, even if they agree with it?

there is not an ounce of substance in this article about the game and it makes the author look completely miserable or at least deeply boring. this is not video game writing or criticism, it is a journal entry, a page in a diary, a quiet thought to oneself or their roommate. why is this the time or place to talk about a police state? why is a white chick throwing around the words "white chick" and talking about racism without so much as disclosing she is a white chick? resident evil 2 does not give a fuck about your capacity to relate to it - this is not a game about relating to people or meaningful social commentary, it's about surviving a b-movie horror experience with rigid game mechanics.

a couple of years ago, i would wince at people saying "SJW" or dropping ableist pejoratives like "retard," yet here i am now, pairing the two words together in my head for what to call this person in utter frustration at this being a perfect example of what games writing is, now. i used to really genuinely and passionately believe in lightly working progressive politics into portions of one's criticisms for certain works. i believed it was good to have a bit of your identity and perspective worked in through asides when talking about popular games with narrative expression, and to make a bit of a push for better representation in playable characters or at least agents in the game's story. i've occasionally brought small pieces of this up in my own writing that i've linked on here, and i got received positively.

now, though? it's all just this. a complete and utter failure to talk about the video game in any meaningful way in total favor of preaching to the choir about personal experience and social position. working in anecdotes about systemic racism or misogyny into a bigger and more meaningful article on a game is now frequently seen as stupidity or poison because of how frequently it consumes the entire piece of criticism - and i can't even blame people for seeing it as stupid or poisonous when every article is this fucking drivel. i'm sure a few of you reading this post already felt your hair begin to grow grey as you read my usage of the phrase "ableist pejorative". there is no foot in the door to the other side to maybe work in a word or two about how they feel games culture is a bit toxic (a word that has lost all meaning) or marginalizing, you just have this back-patting, journal-entry-level, virtue-signaling shit shoved down your throat or completely reject it.

i really just can't blame people for rejecting it, anymore. there is no bridge, and why the fuck would anyone want to cross it when this is what's on the other side?

you really hit the nail on the head here

I hate when journos can't see the "4th wall" relationship between games and players, in the sense that : it's a fucking videogame. We KNOW it's not like your everyday life. That's the POINT. It was designed as a fun interactive ride, with every ounce of focus placed on that aspect, and some realistic aspects thrown out when they are in the way of fun. So just enjoy the ride already, and stop complainimg about how your everyday life doesn't relate perfectly to the game!!!

(also it must be frustrating for you to see people you politically align with, act like complete fools online, with these poor excuses for a "video game" reviews)
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Last edited by FinalBaton on Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:35 pm, edited 6 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 3:52 pm 


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It goes back to the problem of some people thinking that media needs to perfectly relate to them and be 100% made for them. I'm not sure exactly when it started, but it's idiotic. Games, movies etc are made to make money for starters. Games are in theory also made to be fun to play, generally. After that there might be an amount of social/psychiatric/political commentary. I'm all for that, if that's what the media creator wants to have in there, that is their choice. We shouldn't censor out homosexual characters, straight characters, lewds, boobs, religious symbols, anti-religion etc etc... But back to the point here if a game wants to make a social commentary then it is by all means opening itself up to comment/criticism on that front. I'm pretty sure Resident Evil 2 is just a fucking video game though.

Really solid post kitten.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:12 pm 


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https://killscreen.com/articles/case-lara-c-rise-tomb-raider-review/

This is by far the most surreal non sequitur of a review I have ever read. It reads like a spoof of psychoanalysis, each paragraph is practically dripping with the throbbing desire to show off the writer's (coincidentally a psychologist) psychology degree or to talk about his personal feelings. Except it stops being funny when you realize that this review also applies to the Metacritic score of the game, and that shitposting about your feelings for an official journalistic outlet has financial consequences for game developers. The director of the game actually commented on the review and calls it deservedly insane. The reasoning behind the score can't even be derived from the review. I mean really, what is a game developer supposed to do with a review like this? Hello Mr. Reviewer, that's nice and all and we will keep it mind, but do you also have something to add on the gameplay? Hello?

In fact there's another review on the site about Prison Architect where the writer uses it as an excuse to show off and go off a tangent about the American prison system for several paragraphs, only to come to the shorter and somewhat relevant conclusion that a prison simulator game does not factor in race divisions (while treating gameplay like an urban legend).
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 5:39 pm 


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kitten wrote:
there is no foot in the door to the other side to maybe work in a word or two about how they feel games culture is a bit toxic (a word that has lost all meaning) or marginalizing, you just have this back-patting, journal-entry-level, virtue-signalling shit shoved down your throat or completely reject it.

i really just can't blame people for rejecting it, anymore. there is no bridge, and why the fuck would anyone want to cross it when this is what's on the other side?


This conclusion is so on point.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:04 am 


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[quote="KAI"]For those who can read spanish, here's an argentine game journalism jewel:
Spoiler: show
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Heh, written by a guy whose last name is Videla, no less.


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 5:42 am 


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Durandal wrote:
https://killscreen.com/articles/case-lara-c-rise-tomb-raider-review/

This is by far the most surreal non sequitur of a review I have ever read. It reads like a spoof of psychoanalysis, each paragraph is practically dripping with the throbbing desire to show off the writer's (coincidentally a psychologist) psychology degree or to talk about his personal feelings. Except it stops being funny when you realize that this review also applies to the Metacritic score of the game, and that shitposting about your feelings for an official journalistic outlet has financial consequences for game developers. The director of the game actually commented on the review and calls it deservedly insane. The reasoning behind the score can't even be derived from the review. I mean really, what is a game developer supposed to do with a review like this? Hello Mr. Reviewer, that's nice and all and we will keep it mind, but do you also have something to add on the gameplay? Hello?

...Did this guy literally just psychoanalyze a videogame character and then condemn the developer (and, later, himself) for making the fiction character do mentally unhealthy things as though she was a real person whose well-being needs to be considered?

Da fuck?


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:18 pm 


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Yeah, Kitten's post was really well articulated and thought out. Well done.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2019 10:05 pm 


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kitten wrote:
Spoiler: show
Skykid wrote:
I Wish 'Resident Evil 2' Let Me Be a More Compassionate Hero

Quote:
"That notion is wild, the police station as fortress/safe haven is laughably naive (particularly for people of color). It certainly was in the 90s as well, and really, when has policing in America ever actually been about keeping neighborhoods safe as opposed to keeping a racist status quo up and running?"


I'm sure there's a way for this victim of society to end the oppressive misery of their life.


to also pull a quote from it -

" It’s clear that I’m the only real agent in this world, it’s been designed around me. My needs. "

- i mean, yes. it's a video game. even if this were a game about helping people as she wants, they're still digital entities, it's still a game designed around the player and their needs and accommodating particular fantasies. this is so fucking myopically stupid. why does she talk about her 'obviously queer haircut'? i just. eugh. some of the anecdotes would not be totally useless as miniscule asides in a more substantial post that is actually about the fucking video game, but that's not at all what this is.

i probably have deeply similar political leanings to this author but find myself utterly contemptful this type of writing. it is beyond useless, and the general pressure to write like this when you're on that side of the fence is unbelievable. i am a "marginalized queer" and have actually applied some of my writing to outlets much more fringe and progressive than waypoint, and all they care about in editing your writing is everything but talking about the substance of the game (i came closer to writing for jeremy parish than 'my own people' and was much more respectfully treated during the process - nearly got it, but oh well!). resident evil 2 is not a twine, it is not a "walking sim," it is not the next night in the woods - what on earth are they expecting, here? what possible use could this writing serve other than selfish, whiny catharsis for the writer? what the fuck does a reader have to gain from this, even if they agree with it?

there is not an ounce of substance in this article about the game and it makes the author look completely miserable or at least deeply boring. this is not video game writing or criticism, it is a journal entry, a page in a diary, a quiet thought to oneself or their roommate. why is this the time or place to talk about a police state? why is a white chick throwing around the words "white chick" and talking about racism without so much as disclosing she is a white chick? resident evil 2 does not give a fuck about your capacity to relate to it - this is not a game about relating to people or meaningful social commentary, it's about surviving a b-movie horror experience with rigid game mechanics.

a couple of years ago, i would wince at people saying "SJW" or dropping ableist pejoratives like "retard," yet here i am now, pairing the two words together in my head for what to call this person in utter frustration at this being a perfect example of what games writing is, now. i used to really genuinely and passionately believe in lightly working progressive politics into portions of one's criticisms for certain works. i believed it was good to have a bit of your identity and perspective worked in through asides when talking about popular games with narrative expression, and to make a bit of a push for better representation in playable characters or at least agents in the game's story. i've occasionally brought small pieces of this up in my own writing that i've linked on here, and i got received positively.

now, though? it's all just this. a complete and utter failure to talk about the video game in any meaningful way in total favor of preaching to the choir about personal experience and social position. working in anecdotes about systemic racism or misogyny into a bigger and more meaningful article on a game is now frequently seen as stupidity or poison because of how frequently it consumes the entire piece of criticism - and i can't even blame people for seeing it as stupid or poisonous when every article is this fucking drivel. i'm sure a few of you reading this post already felt your hair begin to grow grey as you read my usage of the phrase "ableist pejorative". there is no foot in the door to the other side to maybe work in a word or two about how they feel games culture is a bit toxic (a word that has lost all meaning) or marginalizing, you just have this back-patting, journal-entry-level, virtue-signaling shit shoved down your throat or completely reject it.

i really just can't blame people for rejecting it, anymore. there is no bridge, and why the fuck would anyone want to cross it when this is what's on the other side?


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2019 3:33 pm 



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Steamflogger Boss wrote:
It goes back to the problem of some people thinking that media needs to perfectly relate to them and be 100% made for them.


To cut a very long story short, the last 20 years or so have seen the rise of:

1. New generations of really spoiled, really fragile kids growing up to be consumers (Anyone older than 40 and well-off qualifies);
2. Micro-marketing, i.e. the ability to individuate very small, individual-like groups of consumers (e.g. pony-loving, gun-loving, progressive nazist lesbians against shojo manga);
3. "Sentiment analysis" and other techniques to understand what people want to hear. These work really well with micro-marketing (e.g. "I really care about otters in Zimbawe having a healthy sexual life, exactly like you do!";
4. Better communication techniques that allow producers to canvas any product as a "blank slate", so that consumers can imagine any product to be exactly tailored for them. "Yes we can" remains a masterpiece in its simplicity, in this regard*;
5. Big Data: companies have insurmountable amounts of data about anything useless that people like, say and so on. Computers are now powerful and data-mining techniques are quite sophisticated, so extracting relevant information to a company's needs has become a business of mega-bucks. Companies are willing to spend these bucks because they can find exactly what consumers want to snack on, at midnight, in their own kitchen, and order it in a few clicks on whatever on-line mega-market;
6. Controversy (no, not the Prince album!): Controversy sells, full stop. If traffic is king, tall tales and degree of absurdity per line of text are the most attractive features a text can have. Look no further than POTUS or any of those guys leeching off twitter feuds and the such;
...whence the emergence of self-indulging media and, as a corollary, the occasional review that, uh, does not review but does rant (what's the name? "Virtue flashing"?).

People need to turn a profit in these hard times, after all. Just don't click and play more Battle Garegga.









*"Yes we can" is a form of verb (phrase) ellipsis, i.e. the main verb of the phrase is elided. Ellipsis usually is licensed (and makes sense) when it is possible to infer the missing verb from the context e.g. "Can you guys buy an apple? Yes, we can (buy an apple)". The part within brackets (i.e. "(buy an apple)") is the elided part.

No context to help hearers/readers to figure out the verb? Then, each reader/hearer can fill in whatever verb they like (e.g. "Yes we can (buy apples/destroy the universe/live a better life/fist ponies/etc.").

Before you wonder, any person with a semester or two of undergrad linguistics (or even enough personal knowledge on the subject) could design this type of communicative tricks on a 9-5, Monday to Friday schedule.
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Last edited by Randorama on Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:00 am, edited 4 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2019 3:59 pm 


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Randorama wrote:
People need to turn a profit in these hard times, after all. Just don't click and play more Battle Garegga.


Strongly agree.

With the rest of the post in general as well but especially with playing more Garegga. The greatest shmup ever made.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2019 4:13 pm 



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Of course you do! (agree with anything I said, wrote, etc. ever!) :lol:

I forgot 5. & 6., which I am going to edit into the previous post as well:

5. Big Data: companies have insurmountable amounts of data about anything useless that people like, say and so on. Computers are now powerful and data-mining techniques are quite sophisticated, so extracting relevant information to a company's needs has become a business of mega-bucks. Companies are willing to spend these bucks because they can find exactly what consumers want to snack on, at midnight, in their own kitchen, and order it in a few clicks on whatever on-line mega-market;
6. Controversy (no, not the Prince album!): Controversy sells, full stop. If traffic is king, tall tales and degree of absurdity per line of text are the most attractive features a text can have. Look no further than POTUS or any of those guys leeching off twitter feuds and the such;

On a tangent...I am half-tempted to release a piece of "New Video-Games Journalism" I once wrote (but never published) on BG. The masses have been warned!


EDIT: I just remembered that I friend working in for a venerable Music magazine and he acknowledged that they periodically run reviews and opinion pieces that are solipsistic and navel-gazing for the sake of selling more: no more, no less. Their marketing staff keeps track of the percentage of such pieces released per year, to avoid backlash.

It is often the case that the reviewer/author can be a scapegoat: someone who believes that the piece of self-serving psycho-babble he/she has written will lay the foundations of a brilliant career. Editors can simply dispose of the contributor as soon as a negligible amount of complaints arrives at their e-mail's address.

...welcome to publishing 2k19, yes.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:29 am 


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Been watching Tim Rogers avant-garde masterpiece of a Doom 'review' video..

- and he brought this up, and boy it's aged like milk.

https://web.archive.org/web/20120104155 ... oom-review

Edge UK magazine review of Doom back in 1994. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Truly the cutting edge of gaming opinion. At once it sounds like a post by one of you sperglords, and the worser end of SJW miss-the-point reviews.

edit: wasn't sure where to necro this.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:02 pm 


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Wow, the implied intellectual superiority of that reviewer is so embarassing it reads like a parody of an Edge review much more than an actual Edge review. But I don't think these things are rare.

I can't blame him for missing the point, though.
Honestly, I don't think it's weird that it was hard for a lot of people to process what makes Doom great, at the time it came out.
Especially considering the hordes of "fans" at the time were all about the graphics and visceral gun action moreso than the gameplay. I'm willing to bet that a massive majority of the people who finished Doom did so using the famous "IDDQD" code.
It was very easy to dismiss it as an immature and superficial gorefest. And with the game being designed around an instant-save feature that works anywhere, I can imagine a lot of people used that as a crutch and never got to experience a genuine challenge where the "massively reused enemy types" actually make a difference based on how they are distributed on the map. It's not dissimilar to STGs being dismissed by the media when their ports allow people to credit feed through them with "no consequence". :/

Obviously the reviewer is on the wrong path, but thinking back on the public image Doom had at the time, it's not so strange if they were blinded by that. I think a lot of us probably were.

/sperglord


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 12:19 pm 


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Get out of here with your reasonable deductions :lol:

Also the review's all of the shareware episode i think.

From the same issue, Good lord!
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 2:16 pm 


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lf only you could talk to these creatures, then perhaps you could try and make friends with them, form alliances...


Why were they handing action games to people who only wanted to play RPGs? Hah.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 6:31 pm 


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Didn't they originally intend to make Doom an RPG though? :)

That Mega Man X review is just whack, there's absolutely no defending that. First time I've seen a contemporary review of that game that didn't go nuts for it.


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 7:25 pm 


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Aha, that old favourite.

The repeated mention of "green lizards" seems like the shit-eating smuggery I'd expect of the magazine circa 1994 (at some point they either shitcanned their writers, or shaped up - the PS2 DOJ review is a remarkably well-observed appraisal of the game and genre alike - it convinced me to give "old games" another look, at a time of DMC1-wannabe fatigue). "Wozzat? DOOM doesn't have green monsters, let alone green lizards? BOO-HOO, WORRA LOSER, WHO CARES LOL" But it's genuinely difficult to tell if the writer wasn't legitimately blind, retarded and/or distracted in some way.

Like all great comedy, there is a kernel of truth in this well-trodden dog egg:

Quote:
And looking at it coldly, what is there really in Doom (apart from the graphics) to set it above even the most average, most highly repetitive and tedious 2D shoot ‘em up?


The answer is "nothing." If you think that's a negative, donate your hands to science and then bite your own dick off.

EDIT: waitaminute :O

Sumez wrote:
Wow, the implied intellectual superiority of that reviewer is so embarassing it reads like a parody of an Edge review much more than an actual Edge review. But I don't think these things are rare.

I can't blame him for missing the point, though.
Honestly, I don't think it's weird that it was hard for a lot of people to process what makes Doom great, at the time it came out.
Especially considering the hordes of "fans" at the time were all about the graphics and visceral gun action moreso than the gameplay. I'm willing to bet that a massive majority of the people who finished Doom did so using the famous "IDDQD" code.
It was very easy to dismiss it as an immature and superficial gorefest. And with the game being designed around an instant-save feature that works anywhere, I can imagine a lot of people used that as a crutch and never got to experience a genuine challenge where the "massively reused enemy types" actually make a difference based on how they are distributed on the map. It's not dissimilar to STGs being dismissed by the media when their ports allow people to credit feed through them with "no consequence". :/

Obviously the reviewer is on the wrong path, but thinking back on the public image Doom had at the time, it's not so strange if they were blinded by that. I think a lot of us probably were.

/sperglord


^^^ Yeah this :oops:

RE 1994, I shouldn't single Edge out. There was a distinct trend of mid/late-90s UK game magazines reading like Jeremy Clarkson cosplay, except while you could regularly witness his doughy mug flapping and cunting away on-screen, these guys were just a faceless mass of smugly parroting bellends.

Image

"Miles ahead."
"Urgh!"
"Crap"
"New PlayStation version of Castlevania."
"Rubbish DOT DOT DOT"
"TINY HERO has to fight big, CHEESY monsters."
"No comparison, really DOT DOT DOT"


It's a great acid test, I find, when someone claiming to know their ass from their elbow refers to SOTN as a "platform game." Nine times out of ten, they're an abyssal gape of a non-entity WRT anything Castlevania, traditional or modern. Innocent mistakes happen ofc, but paired with writing of the above calibre, it's an easy Nerd Fatwa from me.

While the final version of CV64 famously deviates from its preview builds, I can't help enjoying a *smug chuckle* at the "tiny hero VS big cheesy monsters" line. CV64 is full of great setpieces involving monstrously oversized, player-dwarfing bosses. It's almost as if making the hero look tiny and hopelessly overmatched is a well-regarded aesthetic choice across countless strands of entertainment.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:31 pm 


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BIL wrote:
There was a distinct trend of mid/late-90s UK game magazines reading like Jeremy Clarkson cosplay, except while you could regularly witness his doughy mug flapping and cunting away on-screen


https://youtu.be/L3UWwmrZ2k4

I had to slap this together man^^ ahahaha.
the idea tickled me so much

.. i don't really have the nads for it tho
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:38 pm 


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Blinge wrote:
https://youtu.be/L3UWwmrZ2k4

I had to slap this together man^^ ahahaha.
the idea tickled me so much


That's it, to the letter! Image
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 8:55 pm 


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Sumez wrote:
Didn't they originally intend to make Doom an RPG though? :)


Think that was Quake. Was supposed to be based on the id peoples D&D campaign at that moment.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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There was apparently quite a bit of RPG-esque content in the original DOOM design document/DOOM Bible. You can see some vestiges of it in the final game, like the "TEI TENGA" readouts on computer displays. This stuff was categorically blown out in favour of the game's eventual hardcore shooter ethos.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:09 pm 


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z0mbie90 wrote:
Sumez wrote:
Didn't they originally intend to make Doom an RPG though? :)


Think that was Quake. Was supposed to be based on the id peoples D&D campaign at that moment.


Yeah Doom was based off a DnD campaign but Quake was gonna be a legit RPG. Quake itself being some sort of thor-hammer? idk i get mixed up.
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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Fond memories of that PC Gamer feature just pre-DOOM II, where they went to id HQ in Texas and got PWNed by Romero @ deathmatch, then Romero was all re-enacting the QUAKE scenario in his head with action figures, talking about bad motherfuckers slugging it out with god-hammers, "You get knocked flat on your back and you're looking up at the clouds w/ dirt raining down, it's gonna be rad!" AND THEN DAIKATANA HAPPENED Image Image Image
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 12:30 am 


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BIL wrote:
AND THEN DAIKATANA HAPPENED


Hey, everyone makes mistakes. :) For instance, Kojima made Death Stranding and it's a piece of shit. Eventually, every artist with outsized fame will make something that's self indulgent rubbish. That's what happens when there's nobody left to say "no".
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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The best stages in both Doom 1 and Doom 2 were the Romero designed ones. Guy still has my respect.


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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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He was always cool imo, even when 6.5ft Nokia valkyrie was towering over him onstage, like he was about to get pegged headfirst into Valhalla on a mythril strapon. Now that'd be a Quake! IN HE BUTT! :O
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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orange808 wrote:
BIL wrote:
AND THEN DAIKATANA HAPPENED


Hey, everyone makes mistakes. :) For instance, Kojima made Death Stranding and it's a piece of shit. Eventually, every artist with outsized fame will make something that's self indulgent rubbish. That's what happens when there's nobody left to say "no".


Bruh MGS4 already happened
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 Post subject: Re: The laziest professional video game review I've ever rea
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I knew someone who didn't enjoy/get into MGS3 because Raiden wasn't the main character and "the jungle setting was weird".
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