Rocketio (PlayStation 4|5)

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Sturmvogel Prime
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Rocketio (PlayStation 4|5)

Post by Sturmvogel Prime »

TRASHSTORM - EPISODE V
TAKE THE TROPHIES, I DON'T WANT THEM!


Imbecility is everywhere, even on lazy game development.
Rocketio is the clearest testimony of that imbecility.



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"Sad" and "Pathetic" take off to new heights.

Zakym s.r.o., the bastards behind trash games like the "Jump" series, the Pretty Bird games and Pacmaga 2 are back from their previous work Driverio to insult to Sony (both PlayStation and PS Store), your wallet and you all at once. Before talking the gameplay, let's check the advertising blurb: "Rocketio is a 2D shooter in a distant space. Find strength to fend off waves of enemy ships and defeat Boss. Good luck on your journey!" Like Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing, those statements are horrible fucking lies 'cos to begin with there's no strength at all. Not even a power up capsule to improve your weaponry or a screen clearing bomb. Thus, you're stucked all the damn game with your crappy sluggish pea shooter against enemies with uneven advantage. Even the enemies meant to be the "Popcorn" type take 2 shots to go down, just for what?, 10 miserable points, even the most basic enemies from Raiden gave you more than that. When I said the enemy has more advantages than you that means they can fire spread shots and even bullet curtains (in the boss case). The spread shots are very easily to avoid since they are the baby-basic three way bullets on a low fire rate. However, damage tolerance is very unbalanced. For instance, if your shield is very low, rather than losing just the shield, it also drains part of your life to "discount" the damage presetted by the enemy attack. This might work on RPG's with "Armor Break" features but not on shmups (except if that damage is for the enemy and with the specific weapon). Luckily, you're granted three lives before going down. You'd probably be burning a couple of lives crashing with your enemies to speed the game's progression due to the slow firing rate of your ship.



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Like in today's animes, bi-dimensional things face CGI enemies.

This game only has one boss that pelts the screen with bullets, not the common danmaku stuff that we're usually facing nowadays, so it is also easy to avoid. Not to mention, the boss goes down with 10 or so hits after destroying the wings and cannons before hitting the main body of the ship.



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You got all the trophies in one level!
I want a refund...


After defeating this single boss, the level and the game ends. The only thing to do is wait until you get all the trophies for playing. Since the first bullet fired up to the 100th, from scoring 10 points to 300 you'll be getting trophies until you defeat the boss and finally get the Platinum. Like some of Breakthrough Gaming titles, the trophy progression feels like if you used a cheat or something, but this feels more like if the game said "Take the trophies, I don't need them!". Another thing that sucks is that the game is only 1 stage long like a poor demo or something, making the whole thing absolutely pointless.

Graphically, we have to split this in parts 'cos there's good ones and bad ones. The boss is perhaps the best one of the game 'cos it is a 3D CGI model that resembles something from the XBOX 360, which is quite an accomplishment for a low budget developer. Not to meniton, it tries to aim to Satur Entertainment's levels of detailing, so that deserves to be praised. Unfortunately, things go downhill with the ships and common enemies of the game which are unanimated 2D drawings. While these 2D ships are beautifully drawn, they fell apart with their lack of animation regardless of being your ship, those "hilt-less swords" or the R-Type popcorn enemy reject. The background...ugh. Space, space, space, space, space. I know is just one stage, but even for that, it becomes repetitive to pass through the same planet again and again like if it was a bad cartoon or something, and that's all there is to talk about the graphic aspects of this game.
The sound department is also pathetic, this generic sci-fi "mumbling" low notes that become repetitive after 10 seconds in the game. From the beginning all the way to the boss is the same trash music.



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So bad, it makes Jossett cry.

Rocketio is, like all of Zakym's games, an empty shell disguised as a game: Zero gameplay that comes with a bunch of easy to get trophies waiting to be claimed by the player.
Their website claims "We are a company, that will bring you new gaming experiences." Fuck that, your "gaming experiences" are nothing but shit.


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Graphic description of "Cruel(teared) and Unusual Punishment".
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