IN 2022 THE TRASH WILL COME TO US
Looks like Breakthrough Gaming is not the only one who makes trash. The Voices Games has entered the trash game scene and threws the latest abomination right at our faces: Dragons in Space.
The Voices Games were the ones who published the horrendous Ascendshaft back then (Check "Trashfall (PART IV)" for the review)
Journey to the far away reaches of idiocy.
Dragons in Space is an horizontal shmup where your ship has one specific mission: Save the universe from the space dragons. The first mission is the Tutorial level where they explain you the three basic rules:
1.- X fires the weapon
2.- You have to pick the rescue pods scattered through the level
3.- Surviving without taking a hit, killing all enemies and getting all the pods grant you three stars.
With this mentioned, the game forgot to mention one crucial detail: Your weapons will switch on each level. For instance, stage 1 sends you with a boomerang, stage 2 sends you with a lightsaber weapon that swings clockwise, and really slow (compare that with Radiant Silvergun's sword weapon: fast and maneuverable), and stage 3 gives you a bouncing ball weapon that sucks because it goes down like the bomb sub-weapon from any game, but that's not the only problem, you can get hurt by your own projectile. To add more imbecility to the game, your own weapons can destroy the pods just like in Raiden Fighters Jet where you can kill the Fairy by mistake if in Raiden Fighters Jet that was unnecessary, here is even more since its part of the star getting process. You have unlimited lives if you go down, but also, there's not too much enemies to fight. The first stages have from 9 to 10 enemies, while the fourth stage is the one with the largest number of enemies (almost 30). If you don't mind about getting stars, you'll end up clearing this game in less than 40 minutes or so. But getting those three stars IS A MUST if you are a trophy hunter, I'll explain this later, but right now let's talk about the boss.
Super Serpenticious, the Kaiju created by a 4 year old kid is the final target.
The game only has one boss, one single craptastic boss which fires a few bullets. It might sound easy, but you got this crappy short range beam sword that makes things difficult due to its slow speed against his fast bullets, making this a slight uneven battle.
Indeed, we need to know who is behind all of this mess.
Well, once we killed the kindergarten kaiju, the game made us the favor of knowing who was the "Funny Guy" behind this catastrophe.
He is the responsible of this.
Believe it or not, Matthew Green, the main culprit behind Ascendshaft is back. If in Ascenshaft it was horrible, here its simply the absolute worst of all.
Me neither, Shizuka.
Is there any comfort on the fact that you've ended up playing one of the worst shmups on the PS4?, Just a few trophies, 8 for clearing all the levels with three stars, dying, eliminating 50 enemies without getting hit and the Platinum after all the previous ones. "Videogame Trash Food" if you ask me: Buy, install, get the trophies and uninstall, that's the purpose of this monstrosity.
How this made its way to the PlayStation Store? Don't ask me.
I guess Sony gives two [EXPLETIVES] about posting content.
Graphically, is merely infantile and imbecile beyond belief. Just a few crappy star shapes in a black background, horribly done tunnels with the edges clearly visible and flat, undetailed enemies that looks like a sock puppet made by a toddler makes you wonder: ¿Is this a game made by a kindergarten student in Adobe Photoshop?, I ask this because it looks pre-school, they don't even reach the category of minimalism or something like that. No, calling it pre-school is an insult 'cos pre-school drawings are Masami Kurumada's works in comparison with this. I mean, even Breakthrough Gaming's abominations look better. I still remember all the many times I've poked fun of them, from the Arcade series to Zippy the Circle, but those are masterpieces, while Dragons in Space has created a new bottom line on zero budget quality in gaming development. Really if this is isn't the lowest level of trash gaming, then I don't know what could be.
The sound department is only the decent aspect of the game, with some alternative-ambient-electronic combination of styles, being the third level the best of all despite being looped samples that repeat until you clear the level.
I thank God for those words, Nina.
I think I saw trash gaming hell and I survived it.
Idiocy has broken a new boundary with Dragons in Space. With a gameplay that goes beyond abysmal and the lamest graphics ever shows how stupid and low indie gaming could be just for the sake of getting a few bucks.
LEA...HATES...YOU.