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 Post subject: Techno Tanks (XBOX One - Nintendo Switch - PlayStation 4)
PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2021 8:51 am 

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Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 408
Location: Autobot City, Sugiura Base
EpiXR Games is back again. This time is Techno Tanks.

Looks like I'm repeating myself, but with brighter colors.

Have you ever had that feeling of repeating yourself in any moment of your life?, That's basically the same for Techno Tanks.

The gameplay...Well, everything that I've said on my review for Retro Tanks gameplay mechanics applies here, and the controls are the first thing to talk about. You're given the same two aiming options from before: "Free Aim" makes the sight stop in a specific part of the screen, but allows your tank to move anywhere you want, the only problem is that if you move 4 or 5 screens away from the sight in Stage Mode, recovering the sight becomes a god damned nightmare, while the "Move with tank" option locks it in the distance indicated by the player and it moves along with the player keeping that distancing for the sake of easier re-aiming. You are allowed to fire a few bullets in a row before reloading them. You are also given mines which can be used specific blocks, think about them as the "Metroid Logic" to clear a path and destroy your targets.

Like in the previous game, you can get killed by your own shots, since the bullets can bounce on the walls and hit you, but this also applies to the enemies who can get killed by their own shots resulting in a very small room for error. Speaking of difficulty, the game will suddenly throw faster bullets, which is a complete player trolling move since your tank's movement is very slow and we know that slow vehicle and fast bullets always mean problems, and in the later stages of the game (both modes) will fell more like the game is trolling you rather than a fair challenge.

The same two modes from before.

After selecting which aim control and if you want a single or two player mode, you are granted these two options: Stage or Retro Mode. Not even an icon to illustrate them or a small preview clip. Just the text and "hope for the best".

15 Levels to waste your time.

As an Arcade Mode-like game, Stage Mode has 15 stages which can be selected freely. This liberty of selecting any stage kills completely the concept of playing this mode as the premise of stage progression is non-existant and the only thing it does is to add a "Trophy mark" indicating you've cleared that level.

Another day of maze exploration in cyberspace.

Like in Retro Tanks, Stage Mode is focused on exploration as you navigate throughout a maze-like combat zone kinda like in Konami's jeep shooter Jackal and you have to find the exit before getting killed by the enemy or by your own fire (remember, bullets bounce after hitting a wall). If you die, you have to start the level all over again. If I'm not writing too much about this is because is basically the same thing that I've mentioned on Retro Tanks and writing the same all over will be like a spam post instead of a game review.
If you've picked this game for the sake of achievements you'll be disappointed since Stage Mode lacks of achievements unlike Retro Tanks had 10 of them to encourage you to play the stages.

The same six modes you've played before.

If Stage Mod was the same as in Retro Tanks, Retro Mode is no exception as it is the "Mini-Game/Arena Shooter" mode of the game, and guess what, they're all the same as before.
50 levels with different game mechanics.

Boss fight on each 10th stage.

Normal is the standard game mode which is the basic arena mode it is quick to complete despite having 50 levels, as the stages only have like 3 enemies or so, the only challenge factors are the destructibe blocks and anti-tank surfaces. There's levels where you'll have to rely on the "Metroid Logic" of using the bomb to break a metallic block and have a clear shot.
Every 10th stage you'll be facing a boss battle. These tanks can take up to 4 shots before going down. Playing any of Retro Mode's modes will give you 5 lives and if you die you'll have to select continue after selecting a mode. Once you've finished level 50, you can use the "Continue" option on the other 5 left to clear them quickly. That's right, the same issue as in Retro Tanks.

Hard is the expert variation of Normal as the enemies are stronger, regular tanks take 2 hits before dying but there's less bullets.

Bombs disables the player's firing, but grants him infinite mines. However, your enemies can use their cannons to take you down, turning into an exercise of "Trolling the player".

Speed is the "Ultimate Player Trolling" game since it doubles the speed of the game to stupid levels at the point of rage quitting. Videogame idiocy on its worst.

Looks like Memoril Base is utilizing invisible tanks.
Those bastards, they had those TI-N1's combat ready all this time.

What?, formerly known as "Invisible" in Retro Tanks is the name of this mode, where the tanks are invisible to the player, except for the small black smoke puffs caused by their treads.
Paying attention to them is essential to clear the stage without dying trying.

Looks like we're playing "Tanx-elay" again.

Perspective is the last mode, what it does is to change the camera angle from a vertical scrolling to a into-the-screen perspective like Axelay and RayStorm. Unlike Retro Tanks, you can really see the action since the game throws away the horrible quality of before.

UPDATE June 19th 2021: The game was released on the PlayStation 4, but it suffers from a nasty problem: The game doesn't snyc the trophies obtained, giving the WS-37073-0 error code, so it's a total misfire for those who've bought it for a little trophy hunt.

Graphically, is more eye-friendly with the player as it utilizes an 80's style neon-based colors and lighting, along with the retro grid scenery. In my opinion, this is what Retro Tanks should be in the beginning. Since the graphics are based on more modern hardware rather than making an attempt to 90's digitized images, you can appreciate some of the tanks detailing. However, the random coloring of the stages can sometimes hide them, resulting in a glowing silhouette.
As for the sound, it has this dull techno-electronic soundtrack that becomes quickly forgettable, so there's not too much to talk about this.

Have you played Retro Tanks?, They you've played Techno Tanks without even buying it. This game feels like if EpiXR Games just recycled the same game and simply changed the graphics and reduced the total of achievements. This Reduce, Reutilize, Recycle, Rebuild, "However you want to call it" concept of remaking the same damn title could turn into a recipe for disaster, and Techno Tanks is precisely that: Another addition to the ever-growing list of FAILURES OF INFINITY that are known as bad games.
Just stay out of Techno Tanks, this game is not the "World of Technology" we're looking for unless you agree on wasting $7 on cheap trophies and being trolled by the game..

*Sing "Why?" to the tune of "Cry" by Hilary Duff*

Why dude?, Why man? This game's a flop.
Is just waste on the console.
Why Lord?, I mean, this wasn't cheap.
Seven bucks is what I've paid for this.

Why it's a mess?
Waste of time is what it is!
Put this game in the trash.
Don't ask "Why?"

Why the lies? Why the claims?
Why promising "If you enjoy arcade games"?
Old arcade games are way much fun.
Comparing you with any of them
Has to be a great insult.

Why it's a mess?
False advertising's what it is!
Put this game in the trash.
Don't ask "Why?"

Why this?, I mean.
Quick achievements?, please.
No reasons to pick this game.

Why it's a mess?
More of the same is what it is!
Put this game in the trash.

Dude, please play something good.
Why? 'Cos there's better things, you know.
Put this game in the trash.
Don't ask "Why?" for Christ's sake.

Try to play a much better game.
Try a good shmup.
Try, 'cos there's better things you know.
Fan of Transformers, Shmups and Anime-styled Girls. You're teamed up with the right pilot!
Bringing you shmup reviews with humorous criticism.

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